Lost and Found..

 

Its perhaps the same with all of us..

What am talking about is loosing and finding yourself back a million times in the process of being inspired by someone or if i can put it in the better way-when we try to be someone who we arent..

As a lecturer for styling where i teach my students about the confidence of carrying yourself and learning from inspirations around, i firmly stress on one point- take inspiration, but don't loose identity!!
The problem is being carried away by our very own thoughts!!
and though that is very normal rather very human, its a tough job to live your own age!!

Well, let me give an example..
As a kid (8 years or so), when ever i looked at my elder cousin carrying a smart trendy sling bag around or read her college notes written in colourful pens(which i barely understood but the font and colour attracted me), her perfectly manicured nails or her thin waist and the fit of her denims, and before i forget to mention-her stilettos!! 
I remember how i used to imitate her, just to impress people around..
I ate in the sophisticated manner that she did or honestly at least tried to.. 
I tried to behave like i was 36-24-36 but in reality my tops barely cover my belly.  I used to go back to look at my fat tummy, my bag full of books that i wanted to avoid, my boring monotonous school uniform and crib to myself and ask God (like i was living the toughest life) WHY CANT I BE LIKE HER? ............. 
God obviously didn't take me seriously and took his time to get me to her age.. 

............................but then a lot had changed in me.. all the time that i spent in being my cousins age snatched away the time that i was supposed to be child like..
i lost the child in me (which till a recent 2 years i didn't find out) 
we obviously dont understand these things as kids but we do understand now..
 I can relate to it today whenever my 5 yr old cousin sister stares at me when i get dressed and says "mujhe aap ke black wale heels aur same aapke jaise wala phone chaiye", she says!

I have seen many people.. Got inspired by a few.. Made many friends.. 
Laughed a lot.. Cried a lot.. Felt hurt.. Got depressed.. Fell down.. Got up again.. 
Many left me.. I left many, Set my goals, Dreamt more, Achieved a lot and aim to fulfill more............................ and amidst this platter of life I LEARNT!! 
Learnt to love myself again.. to discover again that i actually like eating a chocolate ice cream when  it creates a mess around my lips..i learnt not to impress .. found out that a small chocolate or a flower can change the route of a depressed day.. to be happy just aaveye.. to fight with nature for my demands and make sure that they are approved and fulfilled..!!

i found again the soul in me.. i found me back!!

keep the child in you alive!!

rab rakha!!